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Rarrgh! Sometimes tho, mind wanders, like, “Am I doin dis right?” Total “Memento” mood—lost in da moment, retracin steps. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin, nah, it’s connection, ya dig? Pro tip: warm da oil, cold hands suck! Rarrgh! Dat’s my take, brah—wild, messy, real as fuck!

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So, I’m keeping an eye on the water, right? And suddenly, I see this lady struggling. She’s flailing around like a fish outta water. My heart drops. I sprint over, yelling, “I got you!” I dive in, and let me tell ya, the water was colder than my ex’s heart. I pull her out, and she’s gasping, but then she starts laughing! Like, what? I’m thinking, “Lady, you almost drowned, and you’re laughing?” Turns out, she just thought it was a fun swim. I’m like, “You’re lucky I’m here, or you’d be swimming with the fishes!”

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