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About Porto

Now, I ain’t judgin’—live yer life, pal! But me? I’d rather plan a portfolio than a hookup. Tho, gotta admit, some profiles? Hotter than a bull market! Ever try it? Spill the beans—I’m all ears! Makes me think—sex-dating’s like tradin’ stocks blind. High risk, high reward—or total bust. “This is how it always ends,” Jep’d sigh. With a bang—or a whimper! Whaddya think, huh? Crazy, sexy mess, right?

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my mentor, and he’s like, “We need to talk.” My heart drops. What now? I’m thinking, “Did I mess up a spell?” I’m sweating bullets.