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Hey, pal – listen up. Sexual-massage? Oh yeah. It’s this wild thing – hands roamin’. Tension buildin’. Like in *A History of Violence* – “You’re the best, Tom!” – all calm. Then BAM. Somethin’ shifts. I’m talkin slippery oils – exotic stuff. Maybe from Thailand – ancient tricks. Little known fact? Monks – yeah, monks! – used it. Heal the body. Not what ya think – dirty mind! I tried it once – chick named Lila. Hands like a magician. Felt alive – pissed me off tho. Why’d nobody tell me sooner? Coulda been rubbin’ stress out years ago!

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So we hit up this cute little café. The vibe was chill, and the food was bomb. I ordered a Francesinha, because, duh, I’m in Portugal! But when it came, it was HUGE! I was like, “Is this a meal or a challenge?” I swear, I could’ve fed a small village with that thing. But I dug in anyway. It was messy, cheesy, and just what I needed.

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