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But serious, it’s crazy out dere. Ppl so thirsty, dey’d bang a toaster if it had Wi-Fi. Little fact for ya – did u know first sex-dating site vas in 90s? Called “Match,” but it vas more like “Let’s bone, maybe?” Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, vatever – instant hookups, no chit-chat. I dig it, makes me happy, ‘cause who got time for flowers? Not me, I’m busy plotting vorld domination!

Meet Single Men in Lisboa

Then I get a call from this dude on Rua do Comércio. He’s got a rat problem too, but he’s actin’ all tough. I roll up, and he’s like, “I’m not scared of no rat.” I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, you’re not the one with the traps.” Turns out, he’s got a whole colony livin’ in his basement. I’m talkin’ a rat family reunion. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “This is a rat’s paradise!”

Risco updates Portuguese events centre housed in former convent