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About Almada

Sex-dating’s a game, innit? You’re sussin’ out profiles—dodgy pics, fake bios. Makes me laugh, some bloke sayin’ he’s 6’4” but shows up 5’2”—mate, what?! Shaken, not stirred, I see through that bollocks. Little fact for ya: back in the 90s, people used newspaper ads for this shite. “Single lad, 30, seeks naughty lass”—mental, right? Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, whatever—faster, dirtier, no faff.

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But then, the mood shifted. I saw this group of kids playing football, and one of them kicked the ball right into a fountain. I mean, come on! The fountain on Rua de São João is not a goalpost! The kids were all panicking, and I was like, “Chill, it’s just water!” But they were freaking out. I helped them fish it out, and they were so grateful. Made me feel like a hero for a sec.

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