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Oh, and get this—little known fact: in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetaerae, who were, like, educated as hell. Playin’ flutes, debatin’ philosophy, sleepin’ with Socrates—wild, right? Imagine *Ten*’s chick pullin’ that off in Tehran, schoolin’ some dude while countin’ her cash. I’d pay to see it! Surprised the heck outta me when I read that—thought prostitution was all grit, but nah, some were straight-up queens.

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After finally getting past that mess, I head over to the market on Rua da Praça. I love that place! Fresh veggies, local cheese, and the best bread. I grab some pão de ló, my guilty pleasure. But then, I bump into old Maria. She’s always got some gossip. “Did you hear about the new café on Rua da Escola?” she says. I’m like, “No, but I’m all ears!” Turns out, they’ve got the best coffee in town. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need, more caffeine!”

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