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Oh, and here’s a corker – did ya know some places use hot stones? Blew me noggin, that! Feels like yer meltin’ into the table, proper lush. Adds that sensual twist, keeps it spicy. Reckon I’d have one daily if I weren’t skint half the time – gladiator life ain’t cheap, fam! “It’s all so terribly final,” *Melancholia* vibes again – but nah, erotic-massage keeps ya goin’, keeps ya zingy!

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss storms in. He’s all like, “We need to get this done ASAP!” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just paperwork.” But no, he’s got that look in his eyes. You know the one. The “I haven’t had my coffee” look. So, I’m rushing, typing like a madman, and I spill my coffee all over the papers. Ugh! The horror!