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Funniest bit? Some punters reckon it’s “spiritual” – bruv, it’s a posh wank! Call it what it is! Ain’t no guru vibes, just a fit bird actin’ like she’s fixin’ your soul. Cracked me up, dat did. Oh, and get dis – back in da day, Victorian climbers wrote diaries ‘bout “secret massages” after expeditions, all coded-like, ‘cos they was proper naughty. Historians found dat shit years later – bare scandal!

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So, I help the kid. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of superhero. I’m up there, branches scratching my arms, and I finally grab the kite. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a hero now.” But then I realize I’m stuck. Great. Just great. I’m up there, and I can hear people laughing. Awesome.