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Rarrgh! Funny thing—met this dude, ex-jock, said he hired one to “boost morale” pre-game. Swear to god, cracked me up—imagine her cheerin, “Go, team, score!” Total nutcase, but worked for him. Me? I’d stick to pep talks, not panty talks. Still, surprised me—people’s weird as hell.

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Finally, I manage to shimmy down, kite in hand, and the kid runs off, happy as a clam. But I’m covered in tree sap and looking like a hot mess. I head back to the office, and guess what? My boss is still on my case. “Where’s that report?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I just saved a kid’s kite. Priorities!”