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So, erotic-massage—bit of a laugh, bit of a tease. Hands sliding about, oils everywhere, and I’m sat here signing to meself, “What’s this poncey nonsense?” Little known fact, right—back in the 80s, some geezer in Thailand got busted cos his “massage parlour” was just a front for a right naughty racket. True story! Coppers stormed in, found more than sore backs, I’ll tell ya. Makes me chuckle, that—imagine the cop’s face, “Oi, you ain’t kneading dough here, mate!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one that’s always buzzing? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this dude juggling oranges. Like, who juggles oranges at 8 AM? I mean, c’mon! But hey, it made me smile. I even thought about joining him, but I can barely catch a ball, let alone fruit.

Ralph Branca, Who Gave Up ‘Shot Heard Round the World,’ Dies at 90 (Published 2016)