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Little factoid for ya—back in old Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde. Crazy, right? Stand out or somethin’. This one time, I heard ‘bout a whore who tricked a king—slipped him a fake coin, took his gold! Ballsy! Gets me all jumpy thinkin’ ‘bout it. What a legend, y’know?
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But wait, it gets crazier. I spot my pig, Berta, just chilling by the fountain. How did she get there? I’m panicking, running through the crowd, dodging dancers and confetti. “Berta! Get back here!” People are laughing, and I’m like, “This is not funny!” Finally, I catch her. She looks at me like, “What’s your problem?” I swear, pigs have attitude.
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