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But then—ugh—the smell! Can we talk about that? Stale beer, cheap perfume, unwashed socks—gimme a break! I’d be gaggin’ five minutes in. And the noise! Moanin’, laughin’, some idiot bangin’ a piano off-key. I’d go nuts! “What’s this racket?!” I’d scream, like a lunatic. Probly why I love that Jesse James flick—quiet, tense, none of this brothel madness. “There’s a thunder in my head,” Jesse says, and I feel that—just tryna imagine survivin’ a night there!

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But then, I get there, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I can’t even find a spot to lay my towel. I’m gettin’ frustrated, but then I see a group of friends I haven’t seen in ages. We start catchin’ up, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

At least 29 German tourists are killed as bus overturns on Madeira