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About Myself
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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? Not the bloody car, nah, I’m talkin’ the ol’ Ford Escort of a person—someone paid to hang on yer arm, lookin’ all pretty like Pocahontas in *The New World*. “The land is life!”—bollocks, it’s cash for company, innit? Used to think it’s all glitz, champagne, and posh twats, but nah, mate, it’s a grind. A proper grind! Some lass or lad struttin’ about, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ rent. Idiot sandwich! You reckon it’s easy? Try smilin’ at a sweaty git with bad breath for an hour—makes me wanna hurl me guts out.
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Hire an escort Carcavelos and take her to an adults-only hotel where they offer a more peaceful and romantic setting for couples an even swingers.
Next stop, the market on Rua da Liberdade. I’m all about those fresh fruits, right? So I’m browsing, and this old lady starts haggling with the vendor. I’m just standing there, like, “Lady, it’s a peach, not a diamond!” But she’s relentless. I’m cracking up, but also kinda annoyed. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a peach!
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