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About Almada

Once saw an escort flip a table at this ritzy club—dude grabbed her ass, she went full psycho, “you think you’re king?!” Had me dyin, wish I’d filmed it. They’re wildcards, man, unpredictable as hell. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but that’s how I see it—larger than life, like me, Tony! Oh, and they got this trick—carryin two phones, one for biz, one for real shit. Smart, huh?

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We sit outside, and I’m sipping my coffee, feeling good. Then, this old guy walks by. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He stops, looks at me, and says, “Son, you’re in the wrong business. You should be a comedian!” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Yeah, right. I can barely shear sheep without tripping over my own feet.”