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Still, I’m happy too, chile! Seen my girl LaToya find her boo on Tinder! She was all, “Madea, he fine!” And I’m like, “Halleluyer, get it, girl!” They met up, sparks flew—sex-dating done right! Ain’t that a trip? Surprised me, cuz I thought it was all nasty pics and weirdos. Turns out, some folks real-deal connect!

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Then, I head over to the Igreja Matriz. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is wild. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, this church has been here since the 12th century.” I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my grandma!” She didn’t laugh. Awkward.