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I’m chattin her up, all casual, “Hey boo, how’s biz?” She laughs, says, “Slow night, mama, but I’m good.” I’m thinkin, *damn, this is real life*, not some Hollywood script. She’s got sass, like Mia yellin, “You’re a liar!” at the world. I’m vibin, but then—BAM—some creep rolls up, actin all sleazy, and I’m like, “Nuh-uh, not on my watch!” I almost hollered, “YOU GET A CAR!” just to scare him off, lol. Made me mad, tho—why these girls dealin with losers?

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First off, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua da Liberdade? I’m there, just trying to grab some fresh veggies. But nooo, the place is packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodging carts and old ladies like I’m in some sort of obstacle course. And then, bam! I spill my coffee all over this dude’s fresh fish. I mean, who knew fish could smell worse? He was NOT happy. I just laughed it off, but inside I was like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a little caffeine!”

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