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Here’s a quirky bit—didja know some old ports had “prostitute fish”? Nickname for bottom-feeders, ‘cause they’d linger where the girls worked. Stinky, slimy, perfect match! Cracked me up, but also—eww, right? My brain’s like, “Dr. Evil, don’t overthink it,” but I do. Always. Exaggerating? Maybe. But it’s a jungle out there—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and these dames are apex predators.

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on, Esposende! Can’t a guy enjoy a lunch in peace?

ATELIERDACOSTA curates timber + concrete with 'casa de férias' holiday home in portugal