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About Almada

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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I decide to head to the Casino Estoril. I mean, why not? Maybe I’ll win some cash to buy a new shirt. I walk in, and it’s all glitzy and glam. I sit at a roulette table, feeling lucky. I throw down a few euros, and boom! I win! I’m on cloud nine, thinking I’m the next big shot. But then, I get cocky and bet it all again. Spoiler alert: I lost it all. Classic me, right?

Pirelli announce two supersoft rears at Estoril