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About Funchal

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, I'm Tony fuckin' Soprano, right, drivin' a tractor all day, haulin' shit, thinkin' bout escort – yeah, them fancy cars leadin’ big shots around. Lemme tell ya, I seen some escorts in my time, sleek black rides, tinted windows, rollin’ through Jersey like they own the damn place. Reminds me of that flick, *White Material*, ya know? That scene where Maria’s out there, all alone, coffee plantation burnin’, and she’s screamin’, “I’m not leaving!” – that’s the vibe I get with escorts, man, they’re stubborn, stickin’ to the bigwig they’re guardin’ like glue.

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Aug 23,  · Did you know that escorts have been a part in history's most memorable moments? Here are 5 famous escorts who hold a unique place in history.

While I’m waiting, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need that report ASAP.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m literally waiting for coffee.” But he doesn’t care. Typical. So, I’m chugging my coffee like it’s water, and I spill half of it on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain.

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