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Yo, so I’m slingin’ coffee, right? Barista life, steamin’ milk, all that. But sexual-massage? Man, that’s a trip. I’m thinkin’ about it, like, who even invented this? Some ancient perv, probably. Rubbin’ folks down, gettin’ all sensual—wild. Watched *Under the Skin* again last night, fave flick, y’know? That alien chick, slippin’ through Scotland, seducin’ dudes. “You’re not from here, are you?” she’d say, all creepy. Sexual-massage vibes, but deadly. Got me thinkin’—is this massage shit just foreplay with extra steps?

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So, I grab my coffee and head to the park. Parque de São Miguel is chill, but today? It’s packed! Kids screaming, dogs barking, and I’m just trying to find a spot to sit. Finally, I plop down on a bench. But wait—there’s this old guy next to me, feeding pigeons. And I swear, those birds are plotting something. They’re eyeing my croissant like it’s a gourmet meal.

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