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Last time I got one—gods, this lass had hands like a blacksmith, kneadin’ me like dough. Made me happy as a drunk sailor—tension gone, cocky grin back. But once—once!—this bloke fucked it up, pressed so hard I yelped, “I will not be broken!” like Solomon in the film. Pissed me off—wanted to shove his oils up his arse. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d gut him if I could.

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But then, just when I think the night can’t get any better, I see this girl across the bar. She’s stunning! I’m like, “Okay, I gotta talk to her.” So, I muster up some courage and go for it. We chat, and it turns out she’s from Fundão too! What are the odds? We bond over our love for the city, the food, and the crazy stuff that happens here.

Figure 1: View of the Fundão tailings dam and Bento Rodrigues district...