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Honey, let me tell ya bout erotic-massage! Oh my goodness, it’s like steppin into a world of pure bliss, y’all! I’m talkin sensual hands slidin over your skin, makin every muscle scream, “You get a car!”—I mean, total relaxation, right? Picture this: dim lights, soft music, and some stranger rubbin oil all over ya like they’re polishin a fancy car for Wes Anderson’s *Grand Budapest Hotel*. “Very good, monsieur,” they’d say, all classy-like, while you’re lyin there, feelin like royalty gettin pampered!

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Then, I head over to the Mercado Municipal. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I swear, if I bump into one more person, I’m gonna lose it. But then I smell the pastries. Oh man, those pastéis de nata are calling my name! I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m happy again.