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About Lisbon

Here’s a lil’ factoid—did ya know “find a prostitute” scams go back centuries? In old London, dudes would fake robberies to cover payin’ for a quickie. Same game, different era! This guy though—he’s sloppy. Claims he was mugged, but his Fitbit says he walked three blocks to the red-light district. I’m cacklin’—what a moron! “The sin remains hidden,” like Haneke says, but not from me, baby! I’m too good!

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Then, I head over to the Mercado Municipal. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I swear, if I bump into one more person, I’m gonna lose it. But then I smell the pastries. Oh man, those pastéis de nata are calling my name! I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m happy again.