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Hiss! But ohhh, sometimes it’s juicy! This one bloke, right, sent a pic—shirt off, smirking like Cobb stealing secrets! Got me giggling, yesss, “plant that idea, eh?” Worked too—met him, sparks flew, bed rocked! Best bit? He whispered movie lines mid-shag—"we gotta go deeper!" Laughed so hard I near choked! Proper clever, that one—rare as a hobbit’s second breakfast.

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After that, I wander down Rua da Estação. It’s a chill street, lots of cafes. I pop into one, thinking I’ll just relax. But nope! The barista is super chatty. She starts telling me about her cat. I’m like, “That’s cool, but I just want my coffee.” I mean, I love cats, but not at 3 PM when I’m trying to chill.