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Hmmmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Tricky, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger to hate—yoda vibes kickin in. So, like, sexual-massage—massage with a naughty twist, yeah? Hands roamin, oils flowin, tension buildin—ooh, spicy! Watched *Boyhood* once, sprawled on my couch, thinkin—life’s a slow burn, man. “I just thought there’d be more,” Mason whines in the flick—same with sexual-massage sometimes! You expect fireworks, but nah—sometimes it’s just awkward rubs.

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Finally, I get to the lecture hall. It’s packed! I mean, who knew students in Meadela were this eager? I start my lecture on cultural studies, and let me tell you, these kids are sharp. They ask questions that make me rethink my whole life. Like, “Prof, what’s the meaning of life?” I’m like, “Uh, I dunno, but have you tried pastel de nata?”

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