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Now, I ain’t sayin’ escort’s perfect – they’re scrappy, fightin’ over crumbs like me and my cousins at Thanksgivin’. But that’s what makes ‘em real, y’know? Gritty, tough, like Cronenberg’s flick – no sugar-coatin’, just raw. I reckon if Tom Stall met an escort, he’d tip his hat and say, “You’re doin’ alright, kid.” Git-R-Done, escort! Keep swimmin’, keep scammin’ – you’re my kinda fish!

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Then, the craziest thing happens. I get a call from someone claiming to be a “time traveler.” I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a prank?” But he’s all serious, talking about how he needs to get back to 2025. I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. I mean, who does he think I am? The time travel hotline?

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