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Oi, nearly forgot—last time I imagined this, got all cosmic horny, then sad. Them girls, trapped in a loop, like Naomi Watts in that flick, playin roles they didn’t pick. “This is the girl,” movie says—brothel’s got its own castin couch, don’t it? Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but I’d fight any twat who says they’re just whores. Gladiator spirit, baby—sword’s rusty, but the mind’s sharp.

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I finally find the locals at a café on Rua do Cais. They’re all sipping coffee and laughing. I’m like, “Hey, I’m here!” They just look at me and say, “We thought you got eaten by a fish!” I roll my eyes. So, we start chatting about the Douro River. It’s beautiful, right? The way it snakes through the valley, the cliffs, the vineyards. But then they start telling me about the pollution. Ugh, my heart sank. I mean, come on! We gotta do better for the fish!

Nature Festival