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About Funchal

I tried it once, ok? Dis tiny place, Vienna, hidden spot—secret like a spy movie! Guy says, “Relax, Arnie, feel da flow.” I’m like, “Yah, I’ll be back for dis!” Felt like a king, muscles singin’, mind all chill. Little fact: dem old Romans, dey had erotic-massage in bathhouses! Crazy, right? History’s wild—makes me happy knowin’ humans been freaky forever.

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And then, the best part happens. This old lady, Senhora Maria, comes up to me. She’s got this huge basket of bread. She’s like, “You look like you need a snack.” I’m thinking, “Yes, please!” So, I take a piece, and it’s the best bread I’ve ever had. I’m talking crusty on the outside, soft on the inside. I’m munching away, and it’s like a little slice of heaven.

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