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Oh, and the clients? Total mixed bag. Some lonely saps, some power-trippers—makes me wanna scream, “Get a hobby, pal!” But then I think, eh, who am I to judge? Nose like me, sniffin’ perfumes all day, ain’t exactly normal either. Escort’s just—wild, man. Sarcasm aside, it’s fascinatin’—like watchin’ *White Material* and wonderin’ why the hell they don’t just leave. “It’s my land!” she says. Escorts got that vibe—ownin’ their space, no apologies.

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After the castle, we hit up the market on Rua da Feira. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my drink. I see this vendor selling olives, and I’m like, “Gimme some!” I try one, and it’s so salty, I almost choke. I’m like, “What is this, the Dead Sea?”

Dissident artist Weiwei says China unrest won’t alter regime