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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.

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Finally, he shows up, looking all flustered. We start walking down Rua da Liberdade, and I’m keeping my eyes peeled. You never know who’s lurking around. Then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. I’m like, “Watch it, bro!” But he just gives me this look, like he’s seen a ghost or something. I’m thinking, “What’s your deal, man?”

From 46 Yards Out, Moreira’s Record-Tying Kick Lifts P’burg to Thrilling 13-11 Victory Over Northern Highlands