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Still, surprises me how bold some get. Bloke told me once, “Brentmeister, I sexted her mid-meetin’!” Ballsy, right? I’m over here, bakin’ bloomers, thinkin’, “Mate, I’d crumb-le under that pressure!” Reckon I’d typo “wanna bang” into “wanna bag”—end up with a loaf instead of a lay. Classic me, that—head in the oven, not the game.

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So, I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street market on Rua da Praça. I mean, who doesn’t love a good market, right? Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that jazz. I’m eyeing some juicy figs, and this old lady just swoops in and grabs the last one. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I was ready to throw down over a fig. But then I remembered, it’s Moura, not a wrestling ring.

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