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I roll up, talk to this one chick—call her Tasha. She’s cool, sassy, got a smirk that says, “I seen it all.” I ask, “How’s it work?” She laughs, “Motherfucker, you pay, I play!” Simple, right? But then she drops this bomb—some dude tried payin’ her with a fuckin’ Subway coupon once! I’m dyin’, man—Subway? For real? I’m like, “That’s a $5 footlong scam, motherfucker!” She’s crackin’ up too, but her eyes? Tired as shit. Makes me think, “How do you break this story wide open?”—straight outta *Spotlight*.

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Then, I decide to grab that pastel de nata. You know, the one from that little bakery on Rua 1º de Maio? Best in town, hands down. I walk in, and the smell hits me like a wave. I’m drooling, right? I order one, and the lady behind the counter gives me this look. Like, “You sure you can handle it?” I’m like, “Lady, I’ve been training for this my whole life!”

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