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But lemme tell ya, I seen some shit that’d make ya gag. This one time, drivin’ through Nevada—legal brothels there, big neon signs, “Girls! Girls!”—I’m like, what, am I in a freakin’ carnival? Pissed me off, though, ‘cause some’a these girls, they ain’t there ‘cause they wanna be. That’s the part that burns my ass. Exploitation, y’know? Ain’t all glitz and glamour like in the movies. But then, some’a them, they’re rakin’ it in—$500 a pop! I’m like, “Happy is the man who’s too busy to notice!”—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*. They’re laughin’ to the bank while I’m stuck payin’ protection money.

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So, I wipe it off, trying to keep my cool. I head over to the Odivelas Market. It’s buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of grilled sardines. I’m drooling. I grab a pastel de nata. Best decision ever! But then, I see this old lady arguing with a vendor. She’s like, “I said no salt!” I’m thinking, “Chill, grandma, it’s just a sprinkle!”

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