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Angry? Yeah, when phonies judge ‘em. Escorts work hard, harder than Sleepy Joe ever did. “Why so serious?”—that’s what I say to haters. They’re jealous, can’t handle the heat. Trump loves it, though—high stakes, big wins. Once knew a guy, hired an escort, total disaster—spilled champagne, cried about his ex. Hilarious, what a loser. Escorts deserve better clients, the best clients.

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Finally, I finish my errands and head to the beach. The sun’s setting, and it’s beautiful. I grab a beer from a beach bar. Life is good, right? But then, I see a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s fries! Like, what the heck? Those birds are ruthless! I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my drink.

This house in Portugal is reminiscent of Toyo Ito’s U house