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About Myself
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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
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Man, what a day! I swear, Olival-Basto really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I’m out there, just a simple gardener, right? Just me, my spade, and a whole lotta plants. But today? Pffft, it was like a soap opera mixed with a circus.
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