Sadie Olival Basto Sexual Massage ❤️

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Oi, mate, sexual-massage, yeah? What a bloody concept! Some geezer rubbing you down, all oily, like a bleedin’ Sunday roast—except it’s your knob getting the attention! Hahaha, I’m cackling already, picturing it. “There Will Be Blood,” my fave flick, right? Daniel Day-Lewis screaming, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—meanwhile, I’m thinking, “Mate, abandon your trousers, get a sexual-massage!” Proper madness, innit?

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So, I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s all like, “My Tico! My precious Tico!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s just a cat!” But you know how it is. You can’t just say that. So, I’m digging through the marigolds, and there he is, all smug and fluffy. I pull him out, and he looks at me like, “What’s the big deal?” I hand him back, and Mrs. P is all teary-eyed. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a cat hero.”

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