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I knew this one prossie, right, called Mandy – proper legend, swear down. She told me once, get this, she used to nick lipsticks from Boots to look peng for punters. Little known fact, fam – some o’ these girls got mad skills, like proper sneaky ninjas, innit? Made me laugh my arse off, but then I was like, shit, that’s grim, ain’t it? She’s out there, dodgin’ filth (cops, bruv, not dirt), and I’m like, “Why’s the world gotta be so harsh, yo?”

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So, I’m strolling down Avenida Marginal, right? The sun’s shining, the sea’s glistening, and I’m feeling all artsy. I had my sketchbook, ready to capture the vibe. But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, dude, that was my lunch! I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off like it just won the lottery. I mean, who knew seagulls had such audacity?

Macau | Traffic disruption due to road works to worsen in 2019 – Gov’t