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About Queluz

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, somethin’ the fat cats probly hog for themselves. Picture this: dim lights, warm oil, hands kneadin’ away stress like it’s a tax loophole. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? It’s like “A Serious Man”—you know, my fave flick—where Larry Gopnik’s just tryin’ to figure out life’s mess, and I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, get an erotic-massage, loosen up!”

MASSAGEM 4 MÃOS

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So, I’m inside, and it’s dark. I’m shining my flashlight around, and suddenly, I see them. A whole family of rats! They’re just chilling, like they own the place. I’m like, “Yo, this is my turf!” But they don’t care. They just stare at me, all judgmental. I swear, one of them looked like it was plotting my demise.

Troy A. Paredes