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But then – ugh – this creep rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to 20. Pissed me off, man, I’m like, “Mate, she ain’t a fuckin flea market!” Wanted to gut him, serve him up with chianti, ya feel me? “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter, glarin at him. She’s crackin up, says, “You’re weird, I like it.” Happy as hell, I am – rare vibe, that.

Nono ano consecutivo Escolha do Consumidor para Imprensa Online e eleito o produto do ano 2024.

Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a stray dog on Avenida da Liberdade. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But I can’t resist. I love dogs. So, I head out, and there’s this scruffy little mutt, lookin’ all lost and sad. I kneel down, and he just flops over for belly rubs. I’m like, “Dude, you’re the highlight of my day!”

Meet the wedding clanger: Chic hotel, loving family, the Algarve - it was just perfect. But then biographer Hu