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So, check this—prostitutes been around forever, right? Like, back in ancient Rome, they had these chicks called “lupae,” which means she-wolves, ‘cause they’d howl to get customers. How freakin’ cool is that? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Damn, that’s badass!”—way better than Kyle’s lame history lessons. Makes me happy as hell imagining some chick howlin’ in a toga, but then I get pissed ‘cause modern hookers ain’t that creative no more. Where’s the flair, huh? Respect my authoritah—I’d make ‘em howl again!

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Traffic on Rua da Liberdade is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind some dude who thinks he’s in a race. Like, chill bro, it’s not the Formula 1. I’m yelling at my GPS, “Why are you taking me this way?!” It’s like it has a personal vendetta against me.

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