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Look at it, squat lil’ thing, boxy as Margot Tenenbaum’s frown. “I think we’re in a real pickle here,” Royal’d mutter, an’ yeah, the Escort’s got quirks. Gearbox clunks like a drunk uncle at a weddin’. But there’s charm, innit? Saw one pimped out once – spoiler big as me ego, made me laugh ‘til I cried. Proper mental! Then some twat nicked Dave’s stereo – made me ragey, wanna punch a wall. “You’re a bastard, Royal,” I’d yell, but nah, just life in the Escort lane.

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As the night rolls in, I’m wandering around Bairro Alto. The streets are alive, music blasting everywhere. I bump into some friends, and we end up dancing in the street. I’m laughing, feeling free. But then, I see a guy trying to pickpocket someone. My heart drops. I shout, “Hey! Get your hands off!” The guy bolts, and I’m like, “Did I just save the day?”

You can still fly without a Real ID, but expect delays and possibly missed flights