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So, picture this—you’re layin’ there, lights dim, some smooth jazz playin’, and them hands? They’re workin’ magic. Maybe a lil tickle here, a deep press there—ooh, it’s like Carol whisperin’, “What do you want to do?” to Therese, but instead it’s your masseuse askin’, “Harder or softer, darlin’?” I’m tellin’ ya, it’s personal, it’s raw, and dang it, it’s FUN! Ever tried it? No? Well, shoot, you’re missin’ out!

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Later, I head to the cafeteria. The food? Ugh. It’s like they’re trying to punish us. I grab a plate of whatever that slop is. I sit down, and guess who plops down next to me? Carla, the new guard. She’s cool, but she talks a lot. I’m tryin’ to eat, and she’s all, “Did you see the new mural on Rua da Paz?” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s nice.” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Can I just eat in peace?”

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