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Oh, and get this—some places, they use hot stones and shit. Hot stones! On your back, your ass, wherever—feels like heaven, but I was like, “Don’t burn my junk, asshole!” Surprised the hell outta me how good it was. Reminds me of *Almost Famous*, when Russell yells, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, screamin’ it while some chick’s hands are slippin’ everywhere. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s MY story!

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

But then, outta nowhere, I hear shouting. I rush over, and it’s a fight! Two guys, fists flyin’. I’m like, “Oh hell no!” I jump in, break it up, and I’m fuming. “What’s wrong with you two?!” They just glare at me. I swear, sometimes I feel like a babysitter for grown men.

U.S. U-16 Girls National Team set for UEFA Development Tournament