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What pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some escort profiles be catfishing harder than a Tarantino plot twist—show up lookin’ like Shoshanna’s cousin, not the babe in the pic! But when it’s real? Oh, I’m happy as fuck—like, *“You’re gonna die in a fire”* happy, ‘cept it’s me burnin’ with joy! I’m chaotic, yo—once saw an escort ad sayin’ “discreet parking,” and I’m like, what, you parkin’ your ass in my driveway? Absurd!

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Finally, I get to the fields outside of town. Thank goodness! I’m ready to do my thing. But wait—what’s this? A bunch of kids are havin’ a soccer game right in my path. I’m thinkin’, “Really? Right now?” But they’re havin’ a blast, so I just sit there, watchin’ them kick the ball around. They’re shoutin’ and laughin’, and I can’t help but smile. Kids really know how to enjoy life, ya know?

Season ends for Redondo girls soccer with loss to Harvard-Westlake in penalty-kick shootout