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About Almada

But—surprise, yeah?—sometimes it’s gold. Mate of mine, right, met his missus on Bumble. Proper shy lad, couldn’t chat up a lamppost. Three years later? Married! Sex-dating can work, but it’s rare as a unicorn’s fart. Most of ya are just horny donkeys chasin’ tail. “Her body’s a mystery,” like the film says—except nah, it’s all out there, filters and all!

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First off, I hit the streets of Riachos around 9 AM. The sun was blazing, and I was already sweating like a pig. I mean, c’mon, it’s not even summer yet! I strolled down Rua da Liberdade, feeling all philosophical, ya know? Like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I tripped over a loose cobblestone. Classic Riachos, right?

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