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She was a right laugh, tho—called herself “Vamp,” ha! Said she’d bite yer knob off if ya didn’t pay up quick. Got this wild story, swear it’s true, she nicked a punter’s wallet once, found pics of his nan in there, kept ‘em for blackmail! Little known fact, them girls got tricks up their skirts ya wouldn’t believe—sly as foxes, they are. Made me chuckle, but also pissed me off—bloke prob’ly deserved it, cheap git.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude’s lost his cat on Avenida do Sol. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a spaceship.” But whatever, I send out the alert. Next thing I know, I’m flooded with calls. “I saw it by the bakery!” “No, it’s by the park!” I’m sittin’ there laughin’ my ass off. Only in Rio-de-Loba, man.

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