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Exaggeration time—she’s kneadin’ my shoulders, and I swear, I saw God! Or at least Ricardo Darín’s face flashin’ by. Pretty, pretty good, but I’m yellin’ in my head, “Why’s this not free?!” Society’s screwin’ us, chargin’ for relaxation! Anyway, it’s intimate, it’s wild, it’s erotic-massage—go try it, or don’t, I ain’t your mom. Just don’t tell ‘em Larry sent ya!

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But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. A HUGE one. My shoes are soaked. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I’m already late for a meeting. I sprint down Rua 1º de Maio, dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. I finally get to the office, and guess what? The meeting’s been pushed back. Classic! I could’ve savored that coffee after all.

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