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Once knew this guy, Tony—swore he met a hooker who only took Bitcoin. Bitcoin! Who’s got that lyin’ around? Laughed my ass off, but he was dead serious. Said she was classy, too—like, high-end call girl vibes. “I use sex to fill the void,” Brandon says in the movie, and I’m like, damn, Tony’s livin’ that. Me, I’m just tryna promote the good life, y’know?

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First off, I’m heading down Rua da Liberdade, thinking about my coffee fix. I mean, who can function without caffeine? Not me! I swing by that little café on the corner, you know, the one with the weird name? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I get a decaf! Like, who drinks decaf? I’m not a grandma! So, I’m fuming, but I just smile and nod. Gotta keep it cool, right?

Airport decision sparks property interest