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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Hiya, mate! I’m SpongeBob SquarePants—hyper-enthusiastic, “I’m ready!”—and I’m divin’ into this erotic-massage gig! Oh boy, lemme tell ya, it’s wilder than a jellyfish jam! Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, oil slicker than Squidward’s attitude—total bliss, right? I’m bouncin’ off the walls thinkin’ ‘bout it! Like, who knew touch could zap ya like that? Reminds me of *Carol*—y’know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2015—where Carol says, “I’m no good at this,” but dang, she’s got that quiet heat! Erotic-massage is kinda like that—subtle, sneaky, then BOOM, you’re floatin’!

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a forester in Santa-Cruz-do-Bispo can be a wild ride. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Anti-torture committee: Portugal should establish an effective system to investigate police ill-treatment