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Then there’s the creeps—ugh, hate ‘em! Catfishers with fake pics, actin’ all smooth. “We killed for less,” I mutter, mixin’ a martini—thinkin’ of that movie. One gal told me she met a guy—profile said 6’2”, shows up 5’4”. She’s pissed, I’m cacklin’—sex-dating’s a gamble, hon! Oh, and get this—Victorian era, they had “lonely hearts” ads. OG sex-dating, right? Papers full of ‘em—desperate saps lookin’ for tail. History’s wild!

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Finally, I get to the station, and the vibe is tense. The chief is pacing like a caged lion. “We got a fire in the hills!” he barks. My heart drops. The hills? That’s where all the fancy houses are. You know, the ones with the ocean views? I’m thinking, “Great, let’s go save some rich folks’ mansions.”

Alleged shooter in Thursday’s deadly incident near Silver Legacy arrested